A mom to her daughter, in the buffet line in front of me:
"No, honey. That's not the Titanic. It's the Queen Mary."
My son, standing in front of the open refrigerator door, to everyone in the house:
"Something is seriously wrong here. We are completely out of water, but we have two cartons of milk in the fridge....and they are both GOOD."
My husband, upon seeing what I was cooking.
"If I ever saw kale in the wild, I would mow it."
My niece, after my sister had described this incredible "Junior Dolphin Trainer" adventure that she would be doing this summer in Florida, where you swim with dolphins and learn all about them and go behind the scenes and feed them and pet them and basically live every eight year old girl's fantasy for a day, with free snacks and all the soda you can drink. I said, "Wow. That sounds like the best vacation ever!"
"No, Auntie Shar. Coming to California is the best vacation ever. Then dolphins."
* The mom followed up with: "Don't you remember the end of the movie?"