As relayed cheerfully by the woman and her daughter:
- Treat yourself like a queen. Every single week of her life, she got her hair and nails done. She wore gorgeous clothes and jewelry, and her make-up was impeccable. Looking good was her number one priority.
- Never lift a finger to help others. Instead, this woman made sure that those around her (children, various men, etc.) catered to her every need and spoiled her rotten.
- Be super mean. According to her daughter***, she was a witch to her kids when they were growing up, and had recently locked her great grandchildren in a closet.
- Get yourself a younger man. She had just dumped her 90 year old live in boyfriend because, "he was too much trouble." She is now in the market for someone in his 80's.
* Yes, this is firsthand information. I was actually in said nail salon on purpose, sitting in a big cushy leather chair with my feet in a swirling tub of warm silky water awaiting some kind of salt scrub. And, heaven help me, I liked it.
** I was hoping it involved a lot of bacon and red wine. I was wrong.
*** An unbelievably patient and tolerant cancer survivor getting a set of acrylics for herself.