Not in the FAQ

After three years, it's pretty routine, the questions we get when we take the dog out.  So routine, in fact, that we've thought of getting T-shirts made:

Bernese Mountain Dog.
Yes, he is big.
About 110 lbs.
He does eat a lot.
A bear...good one!
Put a saddle on him...good one!
3 1/2.
He's a boy.
He would love it if you pet him.

Then, there's generally a happy period of the inquirer lavishing the dog with generous patting and behind-the-ear rubs, and him in turn prostrating himself shamelessly at their feet and gazing at them adoringly with a huge goofy grin of appreciation.   Love fest over, we then continue on our way.

But this most recent encounter was a new one on me.  

To set the stage, a friend and I are out on one of LA's most popular hikes for dog owners.  It's a gorgeous walk down from Mullholland Drive to Hollywood.  The dogs get to be off-leash, the views are great, and there's a killer set of stairs to climb in the middle that literally kicks your butt.   There's even a real horse and a goat to see along the way.  In addition to the canine enthusiasts, it's a well known locale* for fit hipsters of the single variety, along with a wide assortment of colorful "only in LA" folks, so the people watching adds a lot to the fun of the walk.

 At the top of the stairs.  He's not even winded, but then he is a Bernese "MOUNTAIN" Dog.

We've had our requisite minor celebrity sighting.   We've run through the doggie FAQ's a couple times.   Admired and inquired about the other pups out enjoying their day.   All of a sudden, an older woman with dyed blond hair in a track suit walks past us, then turns back after seeing Blackjack.   She speaks in a very deep voice, with a thick Russian accent:

Her:  Vot kind, your dog?
Me:  A Bernese Mountain Dog.
Her:  Is big!
Me:  Yes, he is very big.
Her:  Is how old?
Me:  3 1/2.
Her:  Is boy or gull?
Me:  He's a boy.
Her:  Is real boy or...

She holds up a hand and makes a scissoring motion with two fingers.  Snip! Snip!

Me: Um...he's neutered.  Yep.
Her:  Too bad.  I have gull for him.  Make puppies.
Me:  Um, yeah.  Well.  That is too bad.

She turns without another word and heads up the hill.   Bizzaro doggie yenta fest over, we then continue on our way.

Mr. "Snip, Snip!" himself

* as in really really crowded, especially on weekends.  But definitely worth doing, at least once!