Whenever I pick up my mom to bring her over to our house, the ride home usually comes complete with Useful Advice For My Life*. Now, my mother would never presume to directly interfere herself (Eckhardt Tolle told her not to.) However, it turns out that there are numerous Higher Powers at work who have important messages for me, and Mom is just helping out.
To date, I have been the beneficiary of thoughts from:
All of the ladies on The View, except Elizabeth, although even she might be onto something with this gluten thing
The guest speaker from Hour of Power
Donald Trump and the celebrity apprentices
The Toluca Times movie and restaurant review staff**
And of course, Oprah. The Highest Power of all.
Here's an example of how Oprah is truly a force for good.
The Scene: Me, kids, mom, and dog, seated outside at Menchie's.
My son: Mom, did you bring the punch card?
Mom: (Lighting up) Oh! Yesterday, Oprah was talking about how to make money in today's economy. And you know what? She talked about these cards! It's one of her top things that everyone should do. It's free stuff, so you are making money every time you buy something. It's just amazing how easy it is.
[I begin frantically searching through my bag, because not only do I agree with this, but I can demonstrate that I was on it BEFORE Oprah even said anything. I triumphantly whip out my punch card, not only for Menchie's, but also for the car wash!***]
Mom: (beaming with pride) Good for you!
My son: Grandma, do you want anything?
Mom: No, thanks.
Me: Are you sure? It's really good.
Mom: No, no. I'm fine. Honestly.
My son: But Grandma, Oprah would want you to have one. It gets us an extra punch.
Mom: You're right. I'll have vanilla with strawberries on top.
Image from Menchies website.
* Double bonus! When we actually get to my house, there are coupons.
** These last are not exactly Higher Powers, but they do tend to share her views on new releases and early bird dinner specials.
*** I have about 6 of these car wash cards, because I always forget to bring the old one when I go. Probably should not have taken credit for this.