Monday, September 21, 2009

Boondoggle bliss

Here is the official definition of the word "boondoggle":

1. An unnecessary or wasteful project or activity.
a. A braided leather cord or lanyard worn as a decoration especially by Boy Scouts.
b. A cord of braided leather, fabric, or plastic strips made by a child as a project to keep busy.
intr.v. boon·dog·gled, boon·dog·gling, boon·dog·gles
To waste time or money on a boondoggle.

Here is the official definition of the word "bliss":
1. Extreme happiness; ecstasy.
2. The ecstasy of salvation; spiritual joy.

Here is my definition of boondoggle bliss:

n. A weekend getaway with my husband, all expenses* paid.

Wasteful? Maybe**.
Necessary? Can't even tell you how much I needed this.
Boy scout involvement? Non-existent.
Extreme happiness? You bet.

In exchange, I cheerfully sported my overly large and colorful name tag throughout the weekend, even though the red lanyard*** did not match my outfit. I shook hands and made pleasant, appreciative spouse-like conversation with the other invitees' significant others. I made sure the bartenders had something to do at all times. I did not let a buffet go untouched. I sat the hell out of that corporate seat cushion. And of course, I graciously and effusively thanked our hosts****.

Corporate wifedom and me? We're like this.

Now, before you go hurling things at your computer at this insufferable post, I should tell you that nothing like this has ever happened to me before, and it is unlikely to happen again. But it sure was great while it lasted.

* Flights, airport greeters, posh hotel, dinners, drinks, spa treatment (!), all-access passes to a world-class jazz festival. We did spring for the bike rentals though.
** OK, definitely wasteful.
*** Hey! This did involve a lanyard!
**** Purely out of gratitude. It's not my fault if they happen to construe my groveling as sucking up in order to be invited back next year.

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