Impress-ed are the cheesemakers

I'm having one of those weeks where I forget stuff. So far, I've left home without my daughter when I was supposed to be driving her to a friend's house, gone to pick up my son at school 15 minutes after he left with his carpool, and taken a call this morning at 11am from my dog's physical therapist to see if were actually planning on showing up for his 10:30 session*.

I'm pretty sure it's because f*%#ing 4th of July was on a Wednesday**.  I'm all screwed up now.

That's why reminder emails are so helpful.  Like this one:

Hi All,

Our second Can It! Foodsteader class is only days away and we have a wonderful afternoon planned for you on Saturday, June 30. Please come prepared to work with milk and to visit with some adorable goats. Stephen Rudicel of The Press, Mariposa Creamery, The Institute of Domestic Technology will be your teacher for the day and will be giving us the inside scoop on all things dairy. We will have coffee and scones in the morning and provide light snacks as the day goes on. Please eat breakfast, wear comfy shoes and pull your hair back. We will be sending you home with recipe cards and samples but feel free to bring a notebook and pencil if you plan to take additional notes. Please arrive by 10am and expect to stick around until 2pm. This class is sold out so there will be no room for additional guests.

Right! Because of course I had completely forgotten about signing up for this class, and had planned to be in Santa Barbara picking up my daughter from camp that day at the exact same time.   After working things out with my husband and my daughter***, I drove out to the Zane Grey Estate in Altadena, unsure of exactly what was in store for me, but happy at least about the prospect of scones.

Here's what I found:

They weren't kidding about the goats.  Stephen, the owner of the estate, the goats, and the rapt attention of our group of students, took us into the cavernous, light-filled creamery and immediately began instructing us about the finer points of milk.

First up, a blind tasting. Crap. I totally hate drinking milk. I wrinkled my nose, took tiny sips, and jotted down my notes.  The rest of the class swigged away with relish.

As did this little one.

Divided into groups, we began making cheese under Stephen's watchful eye.  It turns out that the process is all about temperature and bacteria, and that curds and whey are real things. Our ricotta was a 96 degree situation, with a lot of stirring, a little acid, tiny little rice-like clumps, and a big old dripping bag of cheesecloth.

We made chevré the same way, but with a lower temperature and a different active agent.  The gouda was a whole different thing: milk heated to 110 degrees, turned into a gelatinous blob, sliced and diced, reheated until it formed (literally) squeaky curds, then pressed, using an oddly beautiful contraption, into molds.   

Showing us some four-month old gouda from the fridge.  Ours will need to age 9 months before it is ready to eat. 

In between, there were interviews...

...lunch****

...and butter making!!! (Oh yeah!)

I packed up my take-home containers of fresh cheese and butter, said good bye to the goats, to Stephen, to Meg, the wonderful organizer of this class, and my fellow cheese makers. I walked through the organic garden to my hot car, drove to the nearest fast food restaurant for a big caffeinated ice tea, and went home to wait for my daughter.

If you want to make your own cheese, Stephen recommends this book to get you started.  I recommend buying cheese from a local cheese shop, and just making butter instead.  It's way easier.

High Five for High Tea

I have truly matured*.

First, there was the KCRW pie contest.  A living testament to my new-found ability to apply logic and civility to my everyday life.

And then, there was the school auction.  In the past, my behavior during these charity events could most accurately be described as "bid-happy mania", or "early-onset competitive buying frenzy."  I'm sure they have some kind of clinical definition for the condition, but it is irrelevant, because that was the OLD me.  The NEW me is all about pure, cool-headed, bang-for-the-buck bargain hunting.  No more mad buying rushes or impulsive insanity. Just calm, adult browsing for things that are truly missing from my life.  I even invented a handy acronym:

NBS = Need-Based Shopping

NBS is my new mantra.
NBS is my new calling.
NBS totally works.

For example, at this year's auction, I bought the following items:

1.  Mah Jong and margaritas on the beach in Malibu
2.  Texas Hold 'Em lessons, including cocktails and a full BBQ dinner**
3.  A cooking class on how to make a traditional English Afternoon Tea***

I think we can all agree that these clearly fall under the category of "household staples".  Yes?

Perfect. Because that's the way I (maturely and logically) entered the costs into Quicken.

A Really Inspired Kitchen - The Sequel
Considering how much I learned in this class, I could also have entered this item under "educational expenses."   For instance, I learned that this very British tradition came about because of the hunger pangs experienced by Queen Victoria's royal tummy in the olden days.  And a fine tradition it is.  Per our lesson plan:

"A proper English Afternoon Tea is so inviting to both men and women.  A little relaxation in the afternoon, a time to socialize a bit, and a lovely snack with the pick-me-up of caffeine. " 

Inviting!

"For a lovely starter...quarter some strawberries, sprinkle lightly with sugar, add a little lemon juice and a little grated lemon rind, and allow the berries to macerate in the refrigerator.  Serve with a dollop of creme fraiche or sour cream, and a little champagne!"

Lovely starter!

"The items in our menu are developed exclusively for teas.  They would not make good hors d'oevres for a cocktail party because a "tea" savory item is milder, and not meant to be served with liquor.****  Tea sandwiches differ from other sandwiches in that they must be extremely thin, almost transparent."

Cucumber with Herb Cheese & Butter

Curried Shrimp Salad

Pate a Choux with Gravlax and Dill Sauce

Delicate sandwiches that are not appropriate for cocktail parties? Check! I have to say, we are doing very well in this class so far.

"As for the sweets, they too are best suited for teas than for dinner desserts.  Our sweets are lighter, less goopy, and easy to handle."

Swiss Roll

Treacle Tart

Un-gloopy desserts. Yes, ma'am! We are good with these.

And of course, current scones.

"The perfect accompaniments to tea."

Perfect accompaniments.  In fact, A+ accompaniments, if you ask me.  I ate two, for extra credit.

The tea was hot and strong, the table was set with china and silver, and we were, like her royal highness, experiencing great pangs of hunger.   In a most civilized manner, we lifted our little pinkies, and ate like queens!

Practical, level-headed queens, of course.