Easter Egg Sandwich

I'm an Easter egg underachiever.

Instead of decoupage, decals, natural hues from bark or moss or tea, pastel glitter dips, add-on beaks or wings or butterflies, hand-drawn stencils, google-y eyes, fuzzy feet, elaborate swirls, polka dots, tartan plaids, embossed golden curlicues, or anything in this slideshow, when we bother to decorate eggs, we go with Paas. The stinky, completely chemical stuff from the drug store that stains everything but the eggs, because the dorky loop egg holders never work.

It makes a big mess, the eggs stick to the carton because somebody put them back in there before they were dry, and then you have dozens of uneaten, mis-matched hard-boiled eggs in the fridge.  When you peel one to make your eighth egg salad sandwich of the week, inevitably there are tiny veins of residual color running through the egg, which are visually interesting but definitely tend to dampen the appetite.

Plus, they do not contain sour jelly beans, Skittles, or M&Ms.  The plastic eggs from the drugstore, on the other hand, do contain candy, and are already colored.  Guess which ones everybody likes better?

No contest*.

Why put your eggs through all that?

Fry (or scramble!) 'em up and put them in a sandwich instead.

Bacon Jam, A Fable

fa·ble/ˈfābəl/

Noun:

A short story, typically with animals as characters, conveying a moral.

Bacon Jam, A Fable

Once upon a time, there was a middle aged Encino housewife Toad who got a mysterious jar in the mail from her friend, Tracy Frog. Toad was very excited about this jar because it had the magic word, "Bacon", written on it.  Toad was right to be excited, because inside the jar was the most amazing treat in the whole wide world:  Bacon Jam.

But Toad was selfish, and did not share the Bacon Jam with any of the other animals in the swamp.  She did not even share the Bacon Jam with Mr. Toad.  She saved it all for herself, hidden in the way back of her fridge.

Then one day, when she went to get just a bit to put onto on her fried egg sandwich, the little jar was gone!  The helpful hedgehog that kept Toad's house clean had thrown it out by mistake.  Toad was  furious.  But the fridge was a lot cleaner and hedgehogs can be prickly, so she held her tongue and bided her time.

Soon enough, Toad went to visit Frog.  Because she was a kind and generous hostess, Frog took Toad to the Skillet Diner, where that astonishing little jar had come from in the first place*, and treated her to lunch.  Naturally, Toad ordered "The Burger" with Bacon Jam, arugula and creamy bleu cheese, and when it came she almost died with happiness, the burger was so delicious.  Instead of offering to split the heavenly burger with her friend Frog, Toad was selfish and gobbled up most of it all by herself.  In fact,  she only gave Frog one tiny little bite. To be polite.

Months passed, but Toad never forgot about the marvelous Bacon Jam.  While she and her colleague Badger were on a business trip in Frog's neck of the woods, she began scheming to herself.  Toad made a sly plan to take Badger to Skillet Diner.  She planned to have The Burger, and to convince Badger to order one of his own, so she would not have to share even a tiny little bite of her meltingly scrumptious Bacon Jam.

Seeing right through her plan, Badger, being a kind, wise, and generous guest, ordered the Ultimate Grilled Cheese with Bacon Jam, because he could see in Toad's greedy little eyes exactly how much she wanted to try that, too.  And when the food came, he let her have the first bite, piping hot and crispy, dripping with cheese and that incredible Bacon Jam.

Toad was profoundly moved, and more than a little ashamed of herself.  She cut her burger in half, and passed one half over to Badger.  Grinning, they each took a bite of the other's dish.  Closing their eyes, they groaned and mumbled with their mouths full:  "Oh. My. GOD.  This stuff is so GOOD!!"

Then they BOTH almost died with happiness.

The End.

The moral of the story is:

Never keep the wonders of Bacon Jam all to yourself.  But if you do, make sure you get to it before the housekeeper does.** 

At least you got a free pan. And a sunburn.*

Not to mention a great picture with my son and a fake cow.

But no trophies for us at this year's Grilled Cheese Invitational.  Again.

Not for lack of trying, mind you**.
After much experimentation...

Studiously applying the Scientific Method to Churro Grilled Cheese

Which cheese to use?  Mascarpone won.

The filling contenders: Mexican chocolate, cinnamon almond, clementine caramel

The orange caramel came out on top. 

...we were ready to hit the Rose Bowl.  (Or at least the parking lot next to the Rose Bowl).

At the competition, we wrapped each sandwich with parchment like this, sealed with a sticker listing the ingredients. Clearly, we should have sealed it with a lottery ticket or a roll of twenties. 

Instant Lunch

I cannot even begin to describe how happy this made me today.  And it took exactly 7 minutes from fridge to ecstasy.

Grilled Cheese with Tomato Pesto

Two slices cracked wheat sourdough bread
Butter, softened
Purchased sun-dried tomato pesto
Extra sharp cheddar cheese, sliced
Chopped Italian parsley, basil, or other herb of your choice

Spread one side of each slice of bread with a nice coat of butter.  Spread the other side of one of the slices with a generous amount of the pesto.   Place a couple of slices of cheese on top of the slice with the pesto.  Sprinkle the herbs on top of the cheese.  Cover with the other slice of bread, butter side out.

Heat up a non-stick skillet over medium high heat.   Place the sandwich in the skillet.  Cook for 2-3 minutes on each side, pressing down a bit on the sandwich with your spatula  every once in a while, until bread is perfectly crispy, buttery and golden brown and the cheese is completely melted.  Your cue that it's done will be the sight of a little cheese dripping down into the skillet from the sandwich.  This will leave you some lovely crusty cheesy bits for an extra treat.

Variation: You can use basil pesto or coarse Dijon mustard in place of the tomato pesto.   I often do.