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When you are a kid, the whole concept of taking turns and sharing is pretty challenging to grasp.

Image from GoComics.com

Then, when you get older, sharing becomes almost normal. Think group projects in college, or carpooling to work.

When you have kids, divvying things up is less optional and more a matter of preserving your sanity and achieving critical mass in the face of overwhelming odds.  And then, when the kids get older or even disappear, shared arrangements between friends become a coveted luxury.

I hit the jackpot with my carpool moms, and I've hit another home run with my weekly game night group.  Hostessing duties move from one home to another, giving us a chance to cook fancy or light as the mood strikes us, to try new things or old favorites, and crack open a bottle or two while we're at it. I've collected awesome recipes from my cohorts, like roasted chicken, summer pasta salad with roasted baby tomatoes, or a light and easy Caesar dressing for any weeknight. Mostly the dinners are low key, although I do go a little bit nuts with the birthday desserts for the group.  Most notably this one, this one, this one and this one. 

And now, this one.



Super simple supper with a crazy celebration dessert.  Both recipes are going right into regular rotation*.

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

Before we can all go happily off to Valentine's Day and declare victory and love and chocolate tomorrow, we have to survive today.  I'm not a superstitious person, but even I get a little nervous about Friday the 13th.

And that was before I looked it up.

This thing is a problem, and not just for Kevin Bacon.

Per Wikipedia, according to the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, North Carolina, an estimated 17 to 21 million people in the United States are affected by a fear of this day, making it the most feared day and date in history.  They even have a name for this debilitating situation:

Paraskevidekatriaphobia.

The word alone is terrifying*.

So here's the plan. Let's hunker down, stay in, read a good book, and have some super safe soup today.

Book ideas**:

All The Light We Cannot See - Anthony Doerr

The tale of a blind refugee from Paris and a young German radio operator during WWII. Magical.

 

Everything I Never Told You - Celeste Ng

Heartbreaking story about the weight of things unsaid in a family.  The writing will grab you and make you weep.

We are All Completely Beside Ourselves - Karen Joy Fowler

Don't read anything about this book.  Just read it.  Wow!

 

 The Martian - Andy Weir

Pure, sci-fi fun.  I listened to this one and enjoyed every minute.

Ready Player One - Ernest Kline

One massive global live video game for all the marbles.  With Monty Python and Rush references.  What more can you ask for?

 The Silkworm  - Robert Galbraith (actually JK Rowling)

The PI at the heart of this book, along with the very good first one in the series, The Cuckoo's Calling, is a fascinating character, and the mystery keeps you guessing. 

 The Storied Life of AJ Fikry - Gabreille Zevin

I'm a sucker for a good book about a bookstore.  This is one.

 Not My Father's Son: A Memoir - Alan Cumming 

Holy shit what a story!  If, like me, you only know him from Masterpiece Theater on PBS or as Eli Gold, this is an eye opener.  He narrates the Audible version...highly recommended!

A Tale for the Time Being - Ruth Ozeki

I loved loved loved this book.  Clever, funny, tragic, and above all unique.  The voice of the main character will stay with me always.

The Narrow Road to the Deep North - Richard Flanagan

A harrowing story of a POW in Japan, stunningly well told.

Big Little Lies - Liane Moriarty

If you've ever hung out with a group of gossipy parents in kindergarden, this is the book for you. Is it great literature? No. Is it a little heavy handed at times? Sure. Is it damn entertaining? You bet.

Soup idea:

Creamy, slightly spicy soup full of turkey sausage meatballs, kale and a little bit of nubby rice. Enriched with white beans and incredibly good for you.  Even if the rest of your day is unsettling, this should be 100% risk free.

Let's read, eat this soup, and if we make it through the night, we defy the gods and shout about love from the rooftops tomorrow.

With some crazy delicious dessert after.***

Sausage and Kale...for Days!

-- From UrbanDictionary.

I'm not normally a "for days" kind of person, especially when it comes to food*.  But once I stumbled onto this combination?

I was hooked.

It's this crazy, easy mix of spicy, hearty sausage and quickly braised kale.  I literally eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  With eggs, rice, pasta, soup or just in a bowl for a snack.  It's scarily healthy, since you use lean turkey sausage and cook out nearly all of the fat.  Then there's kale, the perfect slightly bitter foil for the salty warm sausage.  Kale is ridiculously good for you of course, but you'll forget all that once it soaks up the lemon juice and all those spices and becomes tender and delicious and perfect.

Yep. I got killer meals FOR DAYS, people!

Of course, it may last that long because my husband won't touch the stuff**.

Koyaanisqatsi incarnate

In the Hopi language, the word Koyaanisqatsi means "unbalanced life"*.

I'm pretty sure some time-travelling Hopi shaman followed me around for the month of September, went back home, gathered the village up to tell them of his terrible visions, and, after the children stopped crying, decided to pray.

Shaman: "Oh, Spirit of the Sun!  Let us never, ever, work so damn much that we cannot type up a recipe and put it on the Internet!"

Sun Spirit: "For sure, my son. That existence doth suck** and shall make you fat and grumpy.  Here is a word with a lot of vowels and a Q with no U.  Say it in pity for that poor woman, six times slowly and portentously, in a really deep voice.  I'm talking rumbling, auto-tune deep here, understand? Now go in peace, with my blessing."

Then all was right again with the great Hopi nation.

If it worked for them, it can work for me. I am going to grab a kachina doll***, rumble a little, and try to get my life back into balance.

Starting with this recipe I typed up to put on the Internet.

Pulled pork: The opposite of being made to look like an idiot in 19th century Scotland

Per my two minutes of online research, this is the origin of the phrase "Pull One's Leg":

"When you pull a person's leg you are spoofing or making fun of him, usually in a good-humored way. But that wasn't always the meaning of the expression. When the expression first turned up in Scotland about a hundred years ago, it was lacking the lighthearted touch it has today. In those days 'pull one's leg' meant to make of fool of him, often by outright cheating. The best theory of the origin of the phrase is that by tripping a person -- pulling his leg -- you can throw him into a state of confusion and make him look very foolish indeed." From "Morris Dictionary of Word and Phrase Origins" by William and Mary Morris (HarperCollinsPublishers)." - phrases.org.UK

Fortunately, when you have pulled pork instead of a pulled leg, something very different happens. You look very wise indeed, and people are way too busy eating to even think about laughing at you.  Lightheartedly or not.

Bacon Jam, A Fable

fa·ble/ˈfābəl/

Noun:

A short story, typically with animals as characters, conveying a moral.

Bacon Jam, A Fable

Once upon a time, there was a middle aged Encino housewife Toad who got a mysterious jar in the mail from her friend, Tracy Frog. Toad was very excited about this jar because it had the magic word, "Bacon", written on it.  Toad was right to be excited, because inside the jar was the most amazing treat in the whole wide world:  Bacon Jam.

But Toad was selfish, and did not share the Bacon Jam with any of the other animals in the swamp.  She did not even share the Bacon Jam with Mr. Toad.  She saved it all for herself, hidden in the way back of her fridge.

Then one day, when she went to get just a bit to put onto on her fried egg sandwich, the little jar was gone!  The helpful hedgehog that kept Toad's house clean had thrown it out by mistake.  Toad was  furious.  But the fridge was a lot cleaner and hedgehogs can be prickly, so she held her tongue and bided her time.

Soon enough, Toad went to visit Frog.  Because she was a kind and generous hostess, Frog took Toad to the Skillet Diner, where that astonishing little jar had come from in the first place*, and treated her to lunch.  Naturally, Toad ordered "The Burger" with Bacon Jam, arugula and creamy bleu cheese, and when it came she almost died with happiness, the burger was so delicious.  Instead of offering to split the heavenly burger with her friend Frog, Toad was selfish and gobbled up most of it all by herself.  In fact,  she only gave Frog one tiny little bite. To be polite.

Months passed, but Toad never forgot about the marvelous Bacon Jam.  While she and her colleague Badger were on a business trip in Frog's neck of the woods, she began scheming to herself.  Toad made a sly plan to take Badger to Skillet Diner.  She planned to have The Burger, and to convince Badger to order one of his own, so she would not have to share even a tiny little bite of her meltingly scrumptious Bacon Jam.

Seeing right through her plan, Badger, being a kind, wise, and generous guest, ordered the Ultimate Grilled Cheese with Bacon Jam, because he could see in Toad's greedy little eyes exactly how much she wanted to try that, too.  And when the food came, he let her have the first bite, piping hot and crispy, dripping with cheese and that incredible Bacon Jam.

Toad was profoundly moved, and more than a little ashamed of herself.  She cut her burger in half, and passed one half over to Badger.  Grinning, they each took a bite of the other's dish.  Closing their eyes, they groaned and mumbled with their mouths full:  "Oh. My. GOD.  This stuff is so GOOD!!"

Then they BOTH almost died with happiness.

The End.

The moral of the story is:

Never keep the wonders of Bacon Jam all to yourself.  But if you do, make sure you get to it before the housekeeper does.** 

Counterintuitive

Per Merriam-Webster:

Definition of COUNTERINTUITIVE

: contrary to what one would intuitively expect

— coun·ter·in·tu·i·tive·ly adverb

Examples of COUNTERINTUITIVE

1. It may seem counterintuitive, but we do burn calories when we are sleeping.

Here's another example:

It's 100 degrees outside, so it is counterintuitive that I'm advising you to turn on your oven to make a salad.

In short, it ain't logical, but it works.

Not so namby-pamby Jambalaya

I was...

...so excited about this cookbook*. (yay!)
...so less than thrilled with this recipe. (boo!)
...so not gonna let that be the end of it. (ooooh...look out now!)

I fixed it. (You go, girl!)

Easy As Pie Pie

According to Wikipedia:

"As easy as pie is a popular colloquial idiom which is used to describe a task or experience as pleasurable and simple. The idiom does not refer to the making of a pie*, but rather to the act of consuming a pie ("as easy as eating a pie"). The phrase is often interchanged with piece of cake, which shares the same connotation."

In this case, though, making the pie is almost as simple (and pleasurable) as eating it.  Now I clearly have to figure out how to make a Piece of Cake Cake.

Nemesis - Definition 2

We were driving home from dinner the other night, my husband in his car, and the kids and I in mine, just behind him.  We reached the corner of our street.  The light was red, but my husband made the right turn quickly.  I watched helplessly as a big pick-up truck came through the intersection and nearly hit him.   The truck clearly had the right of way, and I began babbling out loud in relief at the near miss.

Me:  Oh, no! Daddy wasn't looking and that truck almost ran into him!  Did you see that? Oh my god. What was he thinking? Holy cow.
My daughter:  I HATE pick-up trucks!  They are always doing bad things.  I HATE THEM!!!
Me:  Honey, it wasn't the truck's fault.  Daddy turned without looking first.
My daughter:  Pick-up trucks are EVIL! If you only knew what I know about pick-up trucks.
My son:  Mom, can I get a pick-up truck?
My daughter:  I saw an accident with a drunk driver and he hit a street light and KILLED people.  I will NEVER, EVER ride in a pick-up truck!!
My son:  Please?

Sibling = Nemesis

[Definition 2:  An opponent or rival one cannot best or overcome.]

Nemesis - Definition 1

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of nemesis is as follows:

nem·e·sis [nem-uh-sis]
noun, plural -ses  [-seez]
1. something that a person cannot conquer, achieve, etc.: The performance test proved to be my nemesis.
2. an opponent or rival whom a person cannot best or overcome.
3. (initial capital letter) Classical Mythology . the goddess of divine retribution.
4. an agent or act of retribution or punishment.

Nemesis is also the name of a (not very good, in my opinion) Phillip Roth novel.  Per Amazon:

In the "stifling heat of equatorial Newark," a terrifying epidemic is raging, threatening the children of the New Jersey city with maiming, paralysis, lifelong disability, and even death. This is the startling theme of Philip Roth’s wrenching new book: a wartime polio epidemic in the summer of 1944 and the effect it has on a closely knit, family-oriented Newark community and its children.

That's right.
Polio.
Maiming. Paralysis.
Newark.
The corrupting influence of fear.
Jewish guilt and loss of faith.
The war.
Death.
Lots of death.

Subject matter that could have been the nemesis...
[Definition 1: something that a person cannot conquer or overcome]
...of an eager first time book club hostess*.

But I was not afraid.
I made comforting food.
Jewish-ish food.
Lots of food.
I conquered.

Hair of the Dog

According to Wikipedia:

"Hair of the dog" is a colloquial expression in the English language predominantly used to refer to alcohol that is consumed with the aim of lessening the effects of a hangover. The expression originally referred to a method of treatment of a rabid dog bite by placing hair from the dog in the bite wound. The use of the phrase as a metaphor for a hangover treatment dates back to the time of William Shakespeare. Ebenezer Cobham Brewer writes in the Dictionary of Phrase and Fable (1898): "In Scotland it is a popular belief that a few hairs of the dog that bit you applied to the wound will prevent evil consequences. Applied to drinks, it means, if overnight you have indulged too freely, take a glass of the same wine within 24 hours to soothe the nerves. 'If this dog do you bite, soon as out of your bed, take a hair of the tail the next day.'" He also cites two apocryphal poems containing the phrase, one of which is attributed to Aristophanes.


Although not cited, I believe "Hair of the Dog" also applies to the pie that you make with the aim of lessening the effects of making too much pie*.

Barfly

In another of our occasional forays into the wonderful world of vocab, today on Cheesy Pennies we examine the word "Barfly", and whether it could be an appropriate term for yours truly.

bar·fly/ˈbärˌflī/

Noun: A person who spends much time drinking in bars

Strictly speaking, this is not me.
I spend very little time drinking in bars.
I drink in my house*.
But I do spend much time baking up bars.
Does that count?

I think yes**.

This round is on me.  I'll make it a double.

Peanut Butter Fudge Bars
Adapted from the Simply Scratch blog.  Her step by step photos? Mesmerizing. I drool over most of the things posted there***, but this particular recipe haunted me.  Not for myself, but for my peanut-butter-and-chocolate-loving sister.   I thought it was my duty to make them on her behalf****.  Let's just say that in this case, doing good was its own reward.  Imagine that you took the best peanut butter cookie dough you ever had, packed it in tight, so it was super dense, almost like fudge, then baked it just a little, so it wasn't quite a cookie yet but was definitely not raw, and had a bit of a crispy top and some crunchy edges on it.  Got that?  Now, slather on a layer of soft, dark chocolate.  See?  You're probably falling off your barstool right now, just thinking about it.

For the bars:
1 c. butter
1/2 c. smooth peanut butter
1/2 c. chunky peanut butter
1 c. brown sugar, packed
1/2 c. sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 c. flour
3/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. baking soda

For the chocolate ganache topping:
4 oz. semi sweet chocolate (I used mini chocolate chips)
1/2 c. heavy cream

Preheat oven to 350, and butter a 9 inch square baking pan.  Set aside.

Using a stand mixer or a food processor, combine the butter, peanut butters, sugars and vanilla until smooth and creamy.   Whisk together the flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda, then slowly mix into the peanut butter mixture, just until combined.

Press dough into prepared pan with your fingers.  Don't worry if it's not perfectly even...it will smooth out as it bakes.  Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until top is golden brown.  Remove from oven and allow to cool.   As it cools, the middle will sink.  Fear not!  This is exactly what should happen.  Because there are no eggs in the recipe, the dough only rises a bit as it bakes, and will condense as it cools, creating that intense, fudgy texture that makes these so rich and addictive.   It will also create a nice cozy area in the middle for the chocolate to go into, and leave a tasty cookie border around the edges of the pan.

To make the ganache, you'll need the chocolate to be chopped into small pieces if you aren't using chocolate chips.   Place the chopped chocolate into a medium bowl and set aside.   Heat the cream in a small saucepan, just until it begins to simmer.  Immediately pour the hot cream over the chocolate, and allow to sit for a few minutes so the chocolate will melt.   Whisk the mixture for several minutes until it is completely smooth and shiny.   Cool for just a bit more, then pour over the prepared bars.  Smooth out over the bars by tilting the pan from side to side, or by using a spatula. Place the pan in the fridge for 30 minutes to an hour to allow chocolate to set.

Cut into small squares, and serve.

Click to Print this recipe!

Crispy Caramel Chocolate Truffle Shortbread Bars 
Once again, this illustrates the beauty and the danger of drinking at home instead of at a bar:  You can read other people's blogs while you do it.   That's how I discovered these decadent little numbers, recipe adapted from A Southern Grace.    In a nutshell, it's shortbread.  With a gooey-chewy-sticky chocolate middle.  And crunchy-nutty-salty-caramel stuff on top.    Lord, those people in the South sure do have a way with desserts!*****

For the shortbread layer:
2 c. flour
1/2 c. sugar
1/4 tsp. salt
1 c. butter, cold and diced

For the chocolate truffle layer:
1 c. light corn syrup
1 1/4 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 c. sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
4 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla

For the crunchy caramel topping:
3/4 c. butter, melted
1/4 c. corn syrup (dark or light)
3/4 c. brown sugar, packed
1/4 tsp. salt
1 c. quick-cooking (not instant) oatmeal
1/2 c. finely chopped, lightly toasted pecans

Preheat the oven to 350.  Butter a 13x9 baking pan.

To make the shortbread, combine flour, sugar and salt in a food processor and pulse until combined.  Add butter, and pulse until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.   Don't worry, it's not supposed to form a ball of dough.  Turn the crumbly mixture out into the prepared pan, and use your hands to press into a single layer.  Now it looks like dough!  Bake for 18-20 minutes, or until the edges are just beginning to turn brown.

Meanwhile, make the chocolate layer.  Combine corn syrup and chocolate chips in a microwave safe bowl, and zap for a minute or two, or until chips have melted.  Whisk the mixture together until smooth, let cool, then add the sugar, salt, eggs and vanilla.  Beat on medium speed with an electric mixture to combine.  Pour over prepared crust, and bake for 27 minutes, or until outer edges are firm and center is only a little bit jiggly.

While the filling bakes, prepare the topping.  Place all of the ingredients to a medium mixing bowl, and stir with a wooden spoon until combined.   When the bars come out of the oven, allow the pan to cool for 10 minutes, then drop spoonfuls of the topping onto the chocolate layer.   Carefully spread evenly, to completely cover the pan.  Return to the oven for another 25 minutes, or until just set.

Allow bars to cool for at least an hour.  Cut into squares and serve!

Click to Print this recipe!

* It is cheaper, easier, and infinitely more comfortable.  I don't have to wear shoes.  The company is excellent.  The bartender knows exactly how much lime to put in my cocktail and is extremely liberal with the gin.  And they stock the good stuff.
** Although a more appropriate name might be...

bar·tend·er/ˈbärˌtendər/

Noun: A person who mixes and serves drinks at a bar.

...since there was definitely mixing involved and I served both of these bars to a very appreciative set of customers this weekend.  Maybe they're the barflies!
*** Drooling is also a noted characteristic of the barfly.
**** Because I'm a barfly with a heart of gold.
***** Must be all that bourbon givin' them the inspiration.