Carpool Wars: Battle Taco!

Given how intense this thing is getting, I clearly need to update the "Feud" entry on Wikipedia:

"A feud (ˈfjuːd'), referred to in more extreme cases as a blood feud, vendetta, faida, or private war, is a long-running argument or fight, often between social groups of people, especially families or clans.

Famous blood feuds

The Hatfield clan in 1897.

• Three Kingdoms period, (184-280 AD) feuding Chinese warlords during the fall of the Han Dynasty.
• Njál's saga, an Icelandic account of a Norse blood feud (960-1020; Norway, Ireland and Iceland)
• The Mackintosh-Cameron feud (1290s-1665)
• The Battle of the North Inch, Michaelmas, 1396, Scotland; the battle is fictionalised in the novel The Fair Maid of Perth bySir Walter Scott
• The Percy–Neville feud (1450s; England)
• The Wars of the Roses (1455–1487; England)
• The Talbot–Berkeley feud (1455–1485; England) (concurrent with the War of the roses)
• The Gunn–Keith feud (1464-1978; Scotland)
• The Campbell–MacDonald feud, including the Massacre of Glencoe (1692; Scotland)
• The Regulator-Moderator War, (1839-1844, Republic of Texas)
• The Donnelly–Biddulph community feud (1857–1880; Ontario, Canada)
• The Lincoln County War (1878–1881; New Mexico, USA)
• The Hatfield–McCoy feud (1878–1891; West Virginia & Kentucky, USA)
• The Clanton/McLaury–Earp feud (see also Earp Vendetta Ride), also known as the "Gunfight at the O.K. Corral" (1881; Arizona, USA)
• The Pleasant Valley War, also known as the "Tonto Basin Feud" (1882–1892; Arizona, USA)
• The Capone–Moran feud, including the St. Valentine's Day massacre (1925–1930; Chicago, Illinois, USA)
• The Castellammarese War (1929–1931; New York City, USA)
• The Great Mafia War (1981–1983; Sicily, Italy)
• The Feud of Scampia (2004–2005; Naples, Italy)
• The Maguindanao Massacre (2009; Ampatuan, Philippines)"
• Carpool Wars (2011-2012; Encino, California, USA)

Carpool Wars: Battle Taco!
The latest skirmish between the carpool clans was brutal, as usual.

First, the battle lines were drawn:

A taco, by definition, is a tortilla folded around a filling, so that's the basic limit. 
Tortillas can be corn or flour, homemade or store bought. 
The filling can be anything -- meat, veggies, combination, etc. 
The tacos themselves can be fried or not, rolled or soft. 
Because condiments are such a personal thing, I'd suggest we each have a "recommended" configuration (including specific toppings, if any), but allow the judges to customize their own if they choose from your available condiments.

Available condiments?
Try five different homemade salsas, freshly chopped mangos, various types of crumbled and grated cheese, quick-pickled onions, shredded lettuce, thinly sliced radishes, chopped cilantro, ripe tomato wedges, sour cream, dill cucumber spears, olives, diced white onions, and fresh avocado.

Now picture them rigidly separated into four distinct sections of a big table, and pity the fool that tried to put one woman's cotija cheese on another woman's chicken taco.

Smack!

The tacos themselves?
Two fried, two not.

The tortillas?
All corn.  Some grilled, some freshly heated on a cast iron griddle.

The fillings that could be anything?
Shredded chicken.
Grilled swordfish.
Slow roasted beef brisket.
Smoky sirloin and chorizo.

Homemade guacamole and chips, in a gorgeous authentic molcajete.
Caesar salad.
Seasoned refried black beans.
Fresh Hibiscus tea.
Margaritas, too.
Juicy watermelon.
Mexican bread pudding and salted caramel shortbread bars.

And after all that work?
The verdict was perfectly split, four ways.

Yep, this this particular vendetta may go on for years**.

And now....The Battle Taco contenders!

The other good part about the whole thing

Free cheese!

The good people at Cabot Creamery Cooperative sent each grilled cheese contestant a practice pack by UPS, along with a small squishy cow.

They must have known I was supposed to bring an appetizer to the Cinco de Mayo party**. 

I used this:

And this:

to make this:

At least you got a free pan. And a sunburn.*

Not to mention a great picture with my son and a fake cow.

But no trophies for us at this year's Grilled Cheese Invitational.  Again.

Not for lack of trying, mind you**.
After much experimentation...

Studiously applying the Scientific Method to Churro Grilled Cheese

Which cheese to use?  Mascarpone won.

The filling contenders: Mexican chocolate, cinnamon almond, clementine caramel

The orange caramel came out on top. 

...we were ready to hit the Rose Bowl.  (Or at least the parking lot next to the Rose Bowl).

At the competition, we wrapped each sandwich with parchment like this, sealed with a sticker listing the ingredients. Clearly, we should have sealed it with a lottery ticket or a roll of twenties. 

Leftovers

I neglected to mention the other reason I love to cook Thanksgiving dinner: the leftovers. But I have to confess that this is the one and only instance where I'm a fan. I'm ashamed to admit this because it goes against every single thing my coupon-clipping, special-grabbing, budget-tightening, bargain-hunting mother has been drilling into me for years. She never met a meal she couldn't stretch for a week or so*, and I know it causes her physical pain to see a container with my daughter's extra spaghetti Bolognese sitting for days in our fridge**. Some people indulge in real cream with their coffee, I splurge by only eating a meal the first time around. There, Mom. I've said it. I know I'm going to burn for it.

While I am a clear disappointment to her, my sister is the leftovers poster child. Going out with her always involves toting half-eaten sandwiches, assorted chicken pieces, desserts with bites out of them, the odds and ends of a Chinese dinner, a taco and a spoonful of refried beans, part of a rib-eye, pesto pasta and some kind of a salad home with us. Then we find her a day or so later, happily sitting with a fork and an array of take-out boxes assembling a meal in front of the microwave***:

Me: We're going to grab some dinner at the place down the street. Want to come?
Her: No thanks. I'm all set.
Me: What is that?
Her: My chicken sandwich from Tuesday, the mashed potatoes from dinner last night, with a side of Asian noodles and a lamb skewer that I found on the bottom shelf in some foil.
Me: Ah ha. [My husband is turning pale and backing out of the door.] Are you sure you don't want to come? Our treat?
Her: That's OK. Don't order dessert though...I have half a piece of chocolate cake here that should be plenty for the three of us to split when you come back.

The dog scowls and eats his bare, dry kibble**.

Why then, do I purposely cook way too much food for Thanksgiving dinner? It's simple. Thanksgiving leftovers are different. With a little magic, they transform completely into fantastic new meals that are totally unrelated to the Thursday night feast. For example:

• Mashed potatoes mixed with chopped scallions become crispy potato pancakes, topped with a dollop of sour cream and a slice of lox. They go perfectly with eggs the next morning.
• A dab of cranberry sauce between two shortbread cookies, sprinkled with powdered sugar, makes an elegant and tasty treat with a cup of tea.
• The turkey carcass tossed in a dutch oven with carrots, celery, onions, thyme and water to cover, bubbles into a rich and savory stock for risotto or turkey stew.

And the turkey itself? Thanks to my sister's recipe****, we eat enchiladas, baby!

Leftover Turkey Enchiladas*****

About 4-5 cups (use what you have) of roasted turkey or chicken, chopped or shredded into small pieces
1 medium onion, chopped
1 1/2 c. sour cream
1/4 c. chopped cilantro
2 c. grated cheddar cheese
2 c. grated pepper jack cheese
1 c. chopped fresh spinach, optional
salt and pepper to taste

1 10 oz. can Las Palmas red enchilada sauce, or 2 cans El Torito green enchilada sauce
1 pkg. French's Chili-0 seasoning mix (omit if using green sauce)
1 dozen corn tortillas
vegetable oil, for tortillas

Preheat oven to 350. In a large bowl, mix turkey, onion, sour cream, cilantro, 1 c. of the cheddar cheese, all of the pepper jack, and the spinach, if using. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Set aside. Pour enchilada sauce into a large sauce pan, add another canful of water, then stir in the seasoning mix and simmer until blended and warm. (If using green sauce, just heat).

You are now getting ready to form and fill your enchiladas. What I do is create an assembly line near my stove. The first station is a large frying pan, where you heat about 1 tsp. of oil. Next to that is your pan of warm sauce. Then your bowl of filling, and right next to that on the counter is a 9x13 rectangular baking dish. Take a tortilla, and place in the frying pan to soften. Flip after about 30 seconds to soften the other side. Using tongs, carefully dip the softened tortilla in the sauce to coat. Then lay the tortilla in the baking dish. Spoon a good amount of filling into the middle of the tortilla, fold over the sides, then rotate in the baking dish so the fold side is down. Repeat with remaining tortillas, adding oil as needed to the frying pan as you go. If you have extra filling when you're done, just tuck it in around the enchiladas. Pour all of the remaining enchilada sauce over, and sprinkle with the remaining 1 cup of cheddar cheese. It will look really soupy, but don't worry! The sauce will be absorbed by the tortillas as they cook. Bake for 40 minutes, or until lightly browned and bubbling. Allow to sit for at least 10 minutes before serving.

Garnish with shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes (or salsa), guacamole and sour cream.

Unrecognizable Thanksgiving turkey

* After getting the ingredients for 60% off, plus a double coupon and extra value points.
** Thus we are literal interpreters of the phrase "doggie bag". The day before Mom comes over, the dog happily helps us clear away any evidence of unfinished meals. The aforementioned spaghetti, pictured here, will be gone by 5 pm today. When my sister visits, the pooch is out of luck.
*** My microwave is for softening butter, melting chocolate, and popping popcorn. My sister can whip up a seven course meal for her family (sometimes using new ingredients) in hers.
**** The amount of cheese involved should be a clue that it is her recipe.
***** You can make these any time of year using a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store.

If it's shiny, watch your hiney

Despite being desperately uninvited by my daughter, I have just returned, wiser and thoroughly wiped out, from chaperoning her class overnight trip. Nothing like spending 36 hours with a bunch of fourth and fifth graders to show me just how much I don't know. Some things I learned were in fact about the mission, the native tribes, the rancho period, and the science of archaeology.

But the really important stuff?
It's what you get by being a fly on the wall:

The leader explained that the Spanish made the native people give up their religion, change their name, and work exclusively for the mission.
10 year old: "Oh, so they were slaves, then?"
Leader: "No, not really. They received medicine, education, and food. They were taken care of."
10 year old: "But they didn't have a choice, right? That's not slavery?"
Leader: Silence.

10 minutes is definitely not enough time to construct a house for 20 out of sticks.

How to tell poison oak:
Leaves of three, let it be
If it's hairy, it's a berry
If it's shiny, watch your hiney

The first millionaire in California was the guy who sold everybody else the shovels and tin pans in 1849.

The code word for rattlesnake is "chicken". There was a "chicken" in the camp.

If there is one child who gets spooked in the middle of the night, it will be your daughter.

Toilet paper was invented after the automobile.

There's nothing more interesting or memorable to a group of pre-teen girls than two bugs mating in the bathroom.

Tortillas you make yourself taste really good, especially after you grind corn with a rock.

They would taste even better with guacamole. So that's the first thing I made when we got home.