When in doubt, just talk about chocolate or throw in a really long quote

I'm up late tonight, on stand-by for the final grammar check as my daughter is struggling with an English essay. Truth be told, I'm struggling, too, with the sheer December-ness of everything. The idea of crafting a clever blog post is a bit beyond me right now*.

She's sorting through relevant passages, trying to prove a point about totalitarianism and manipulative language. I would say this is what you get for procrastinating but...

Pot = Black
Apple = Right up against the damn tree

How about some chocolate cake while we wait? It could be a long night.

Rotating In

When you are a kid, the whole concept of taking turns and sharing is pretty challenging to grasp.

Image from GoComics.com

Then, when you get older, sharing becomes almost normal. Think group projects in college, or carpooling to work.

When you have kids, divvying things up is less optional and more a matter of preserving your sanity and achieving critical mass in the face of overwhelming odds.  And then, when the kids get older or even disappear, shared arrangements between friends become a coveted luxury.

I hit the jackpot with my carpool moms, and I've hit another home run with my weekly game night group.  Hostessing duties move from one home to another, giving us a chance to cook fancy or light as the mood strikes us, to try new things or old favorites, and crack open a bottle or two while we're at it. I've collected awesome recipes from my cohorts, like roasted chicken, summer pasta salad with roasted baby tomatoes, or a light and easy Caesar dressing for any weeknight. Mostly the dinners are low key, although I do go a little bit nuts with the birthday desserts for the group.  Most notably this one, this one, this one and this one. 

And now, this one.



Super simple supper with a crazy celebration dessert.  Both recipes are going right into regular rotation*.

Extraction Pains

"They've got to come out."

"Putting it off will only make things worse."

"It's not healthy in the long run to keep them."

"They desperately need space."

"It's time."

The dentist was talking about my son's wisdom teeth.

I was thinking about leaving my daughter on a curb at JFK airport with bulging duffle bag and a ticket to Africa.

He got ice packs and meds for his extraction pain.



I got to come home* and make milkshakes for both of us.

His recovery is going great, especially now that the freezer is fully stocked with ice cream**.

Me?
I'm still poking at the hole that was left behind***.

Honey, I burned the sugar*

...and baked it into cookies.

Burn, baby, burn!

Burn that motha' down!

The long distance birthday

Today, my son is finishing up his first year of college.  He'll be going to one last class, saying goodbye to his roommate and friends for the summer, covering up holes in his wall with toothpaste, and stuffing a pile of dirty clothes into a duffel bag before turning in his keys and leaving campus behind.



He will do all of this on his own, just like he experienced all the rest of freshman year for himself. Thinking back*, I don't think I appreciated how much of a gift this independence was for me. How foundational having the space to misbehave and strive and goof off and win and fall down and lose sleep and connect and love and eat poorly and bond and learn and type and cheer and drink and run and get naked and question and write and be me would be.  It was, I think, one of the most important periods of my life.  My parents had no part in it. None.

That is as it should be.  But I kinda wish my mom was around now so I could tell her I get it. Long distance relationships are tough.  Long distance motherhood is brutal.

And then, just to make it that much worse, the first birthday away from home comes around.

Yep. Today is his 19th birthday. He's there. I'm here.

Deep breath. Text. Call. Bake.

Tomorrow, he'll be here.  Tomorrow, we'll have cake.

Sweet Corn Sugar Cookies

I feel awkward talking about cookies today.  It seems more trivial than usual to be focusing on butter and sugar when people have been buried and found in the mountains by earthquakes and another city has gone feral in front of TV cameras.  In a week where marathoners ran in defiant celebration, and the supreme court is deciding whether people can love each other legally, the relevance of a recipe is negligible at best.

And yet, it is what I have*.

It is, at least, an outstanding irrelevant recipe.

Better Together

With apologies and much respect to Jack Johnson:

There is no combination of words I could put on screen of my MacBook 

No song that I could sing, but I can certainly cook

These dreams, and they are made out of real things 

Like chocolate chip cookies 

Smushed with deep dark chewy brownies 

These are the answer, 

At least for most of the questions in my heart 

Like what's for dessert? And can I have two? 

And is making them not too hard? 

It's actually easy, and

They're so darn great you must believe me 

I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when they're together 

Mmm, it's always better when they're together 

Yeah, we'll be licking our lips when they're together 

Well, it's always better when they're together 

Yeah, it's always better when they're together 

Mmm, mmm, mmm 

I believe in Brookie Bites 

They are so, so tasty just to eat 

Plus, when I wrap 'em up, 

They stay delicious, all the way to N.C. 

Now these are favorites of mine 

And there is no, no better mash up I've seen

Caramelized cookie dough and intense chewy brownies

Yeah, I had to tell you this thing 

They're better together.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm ,mmm...

Just about now...

50 years ago, I was just new.

31 years ago, I fell, unknowingly, for the love of my life.

19 years ago, I was counting down to a due date*.

Six years ago, I started this blog**.

Four years ago, I grieved and raged in the mountains of Peru.

A year ago, I came clean.

Six months ago, we lost Blackjack.

Two weeks ago, we made room for Juneau and all the lovely chaos.

Long, long ago, whenever my mother felt overwhelmed by big events and life's dramatic twists and upheavals, she would go to the stove and begin stirring chocolate and sugar and butter together in a pot.  She would stir and stir and then there would be fudge. Creamy, just a teeny, tiny bit grainy, tender, and cocoa-sugar-salty. Magical.

Until recently, it was elusive, this salve for the extraordinary emotional milestone.

Just a few days ago...
Just in time...

...there was fudge***.

You should have some. Just about now.

When bakers and geeks collide

...things get ePIc pretty darn quick.

It's 3.14.15 today.

Image from Wolfram*

The Pi Day of the century.**

There are, of course, T-shirts. You can geek out with the limited edition three-pack "Pi Day" collection from Scientific American, or with one of these Pi-themed goodies on Etsy.

Limited Edition "I ate some pie..." board from MidlandMooseWorks

Or you can just forget the math and eat some pie.

Meyer Lemon Buttermilk Pie

Best in Show Apple Pie

Pumpkin Cream Cheese Hand Pies

Mexican Chocolate Pie

Fresh Fruit Pie with Mascarpone Cheese

Lemon Chess Pie

Totally fine to take a short cut and hit up a local bakery too. The Foodie Girls love the Mexican Chocolate and Maple Custard Pie at The Pie Hole, and I'm a massive fan*** of the Cherry Pie at Sweet Lady Jane here in LA. Don't forget, pizza counts as pie, too.  Try The Luggage Room in Pasadena or Olive Wood Pizza at the Studio City Farmers Market.

Bonus! Unless your clock runs on military time, or you live outside the US****, on this very special Pi day, you get to celebrate twice.*****

* Did you know that everybody's birthday appears in the number Pi? Mine is at digit 70,113. Find your birthday in Pi here.
** Explained wonderfully here, with five more drool-worthy pie recipes, on the always tasty Shockingly Delicious blog.
*** Literally, I weigh a ton.
**** Pi Day never happens in countries that put the day first in their dates.  America rules.
***** At 9:26:53 a.m. and p.m. Not to mention that you can have mini celebrations at 1:59:26 a.m. and p.m. as well, like people do on non-monumental Pi days. While you're at it, have an extra slice for Albert Einstein.  It's his birthday today.

Expectation-Defying Evil King Body Part Cookies

Just the beginning of a recent rant in my newsfeed 

Dear college friend on Facebook who hates hamantaschen*:

You are wrong.

Love,

Sharon
 

Sometimes you just can't bake it

There are times when life is good.

Work is interesting and productivity is high.  Your teenager smiles at you for real.  Your bank account balance is surprisingly fat, and your thighs are surprisingly thin*.

At times like these, one can tackle epic, multi-step dessert recipes with aplomb. Store-bought ice cream?  Caramel from a jar? Puh-lease! In fact, I'll just be making my own damn mascarpone cheese and zabaglione for that tiramisu, thank you very much.

Then there are times when life is just plan f$@%ed up.

People who are supposed to love you are impossibly cruel and the cat barfs on the carpet and despite your best intentions, your email box is the one on the right.

From this posting on Twitter

For those days, and for someone I love very much who is having a particularly cat-barf-y time of it right now, there are these No-Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Nut Butter Instant Happiness Treats.

I found the recipe online, and made a batch almost on a whim.  But the minute I took a bite, I was immediately transported back to a summer during elementary school.  I'd been sent away to a science and nature camp for city kids with a bunch of people I didn't know and they were all really mean to me.  I hated everything about it...the dingy bunks, the creepy-crawly woods, and the smelly labs, but more than anything, I loathed the girls I was grouped with. I was utterly miserable the entire time, except for one day, near the end of camp, when the cafeteria ladies served these exact same treats at lunch.  I vividly remember the taste and how happy I was, just for a minute, to be eating something so delicious in the midst of that horrible place.  I swear these saved me by making the experience, if not good, at least bearable.

I polished off my treat. Only the happiness and none of the hurt came back to me.  Life really is good sometimes.

Believe me, I do not wish the horrors of pre-teen peer ostracism or any other kind of emotional turmoil on anyone**, but just in case, it's good to be able to make your own instant ray of hope out of chocolate, peanut butter, and sugar***.   While you're waiting for the pain to fade away with time (and getting that inbox cleared out) these will definitely tide you over very nicely.

P.S.  If you are truly having a tough day, I found watching this video made me ridiculously cheerful.  As in, howling with laughter. Via Kottke.

The word of the day

When my kids were little, whenever my sister was visiting she'd give them a "Word of the Day". We'd be at the breakfast table, and she'd look seriously at my four year old son and eighteen month old daughter and say:

"OK guys.  The word of the day is...FOYER!"

They would stare intently back at her over their Cheerios. She'd continue:

"It's related to the one we had yesterday.  Do you remember?"

My son would leap up from his chair and shout happily:

"VESTIBULE!"

Then they would spend the rest of the day finding ridiculous ways to use the word FOYER in every conversation.

It was hilarious.  But it was kind of brilliant*.

My sister isn't here right now,  so I'll take over for her.  

"OK guys. The word of the day is...CINNAMON TOAST CAKE!"

Crap. That's three words. 

She's obviously way better at this than I am. 

But you should still try to find ways to add Cinnamon Toast Cake to every conversation.  It's kind of brilliant.

A holiday gift recipe that will not usually cause recipients to explode

You all remember the scene in Monty Python's Meaning of Life where the fat guy is offered a "wafer thin mint"?

I'm nearly there myself, thanks to the holiday baking frenzy around here*.

That said, if I were to have an after dinner mint, I'd want it to be one of these.

It'd be totally worth it.

Another thing that is totally worth it?  The 12-week Serial podcast.  Gripping doesn't even begin to describe it.  If you missed the story of Hae Min and Adnan, give it a listen.  And if you were as addicted as I was, you'll appreciate the brilliance of the SNL holiday spin even more.

Here's to inexplicable Christmas magic, great stories, and scrumptious little buttercream mints.

Score one for the Internet. And Starbucks, too, I guess.

December is the month where my talent for self sabotage truly shines.  If, for example, I were serious about this 50x50 business, would I sign up for not one, but two food blogger cookie swaps?

In theory, no. I would not.
In real life, of course I did.
In fact, I am on a cookie roll this month, but more on that another time.

Cranberry Bliss Blondies - Internet Cookie Swap

For my third year participating in the Great Food Food Blogger Cookie Swap, I was inspired by my late-to-the-party addiction to Starbucks.  Once a person who thoroughly disdained the place, I'm now drawn there daily like a moth to a flame for their decaf Passion Iced Tea, one of the few alternatives to the ocean of ice water I have to drink.  In the well-lit glass case of caloric treats paraded in front of me while I wait, like an idiot, to pay $4 for gourmet, hand-shaken pink-colored ice water, the seasonal "Cranberry Bliss Bar" calls to me.  The glistening garnet-colored cranberries.  The lush, creamy-looking frosting.  That base of buttery goodness.  Naturally, I set myself a little personal challenge to figure out how to make them at home.*  I googled for a recipe, found a great one by Recipe Girl, and went to town.

Reading over the ingredient list, I was dubious.  I'm not generally a fan of white chocolate - way too sweet for my taste. I upped the salt and cinnamon, added the optional orange zest, and hoped for the best.

When I took my first bite, I understood, at last, what all the fuss was about.  Yes, they are sweet, but in a really Christmas-y, good way.  The bars are moist and a little chewy, and the tang of the cream cheese frosting and the cranberries seals the deal.

I exercised every ounce of self restraint I had, wrapped up (most of) these little bars of bliss, and sent them out into the world.

The second cookie swap was organized by Food Bloggers Los Angeles, a group of extremely talented folks here in town.  We meet in person, toast to the season, take a zillion photos and eat ourselves silly.  This time around, I decided to try recipes from a new, highly rated baking cookbook for my contribution.  Non-Internet swap, non-Internet source, right?

Well, the recipes SUCKED.  A pound of butter and tons of sugar later I had a houseful of crappy cookies and it was 2 a.m.  Seriously irritated (as in NOT BLISSFUL!), I made a riff on my tried and true Butterscotch Blondies** and got a few hours of sleep.

The blondies were utterly delicious when I tasted them in the morning, but I was so sleep deprived that I drove myself and my adorable snowman platter all the way to the other side of town...

Toffee Almond Cherry Blondies - Non Internet Cookie Swap 

Without the address for the party.  Or any way to get it, because it wasn't, of course, on the Internet.

Fortunately, I found both a great sandwich place and a Starbucks, so the outing was not a total bust.   There were plenty of regular, non-blogging hungry people*** to share the treats with, too.  I missed the company and what were surely some incredible cookies, but my mailbox was soon flooded with sweets from Rebecca of The Displaced Housewife, Denise of Alma's Days, and Jessica of A Happy Food Dance, so all was well.

Clearly, the win here goes to the Internet, with the improvised middle-of-the-night Blondies getting the assist.  Both of these, by the way, are so good they will be making an appearance in the Dessert Room this weekend.