Things that are scary but great

1. This movie*



2. Teaching a group of ten fourth and fifth graders to cook a multi-course Halloween feast in under three hours.

In both cases, the surprise ending is totally worth it**.

On the heels of my adventures with the Clueless Dads, another friend wondered if her daughter and a couple of friends could do a cooking class one afternoon. Picturing a version of making dinner at home with my kids without the annoying bickering and backtalk, I eagerly agreed. Next thing I knew there was an e-mail blast to the class, and I somehow found myself in a strange kitchen*** amid a sea of spastic tweens, armed only with my red apron, some mixing bowls, and a bag of mini chocolate chips****.

Oh boy. What in the world had I gotten myself into this time?

The Menu

We went in reverse order, making dessert first*****. Judging by the boys fighting over who got to lick the bowl and the dive bombing for spare chocolate that broke out, I was doing well so far. We moved on to working with bread. The crouton crew was on the "one for me, one for the pan" program, while the bread crumb group was mesmerized by the whirl of the food processor. There was general enthusiasm for dumping ketchup into a pan, followed by a dose of brown sugar. I barely held their attention through the chicken course******, as the lure of the play structure was strong, but when we moved on to squishing raw meat and grating piles of cheese, I had them back. Then the sprinklers went off. I couldn't compete with that.



Dark fell, and their parents arrived. There was a veritable feast of food on the table. Wine was poured******* and the chefs proudly stepped forward to describe the dishes and all the work they had done. As the crowd dug in and the delighted sounds of "Yum!" and "I made that!" and "Can I have another meatball?" filled the room, I heaved a huge sigh of relief and wondered what on earth I'd been so afraid of.

I was thrilled.

Dying young is looking pretty good to me

I wasn't looking for the fountain of youth, but I found it the other day at a nail salon* in a Studio City mini mall. The woman next to me, it turned out, was 105 years old. She looked amazing, and it was not just the beautiful new coat of red polish, either. We had to know how on earth she did it**. Her secrets?

As relayed cheerfully by the woman and her daughter:

1. Treat yourself like a queen. Every single week of her life, she got her hair and nails done. She wore gorgeous clothes and jewelry, and her make-up was impeccable. Looking good was her number one priority.
2. Never lift a finger to help others. Instead, this woman made sure that those around her (children, various men, etc.) catered to her every need and spoiled her rotten.
3. Be super mean. According to her daughter***, she was a witch to her kids when they were growing up, and had recently locked her great grandchildren in a closet.
4. Get yourself a younger man. She had just dumped her 90 year old live in boyfriend because, "he was too much trouble." She is now in the market for someone in his 80's.

Suddenly, she didn't look so fabulous. Who wants to be 105 anyway?

* Yes, this is firsthand information. I was actually in said nail salon on purpose, sitting in a big cushy leather chair with my feet in a swirling tub of warm silky water awaiting some kind of salt scrub. And, heaven help me, I liked it.
** I was hoping it involved a lot of bacon and red wine. I was wrong.
*** An unbelievably patient and tolerant cancer survivor getting a set of acrylics for herself.

Foodie Girls Lunch Brigade - Episode 8

It was obviously some kind of illusion. A mirage. A repudiation of the effectiveness of progressive lenses in women who are clearly too young to need them. Perhaps a misprint of some kind. It couldn't actually say "John O'Groats Coming Soon" on the side of that completely nondescript new apartment complex a block and a half from our house. Could it?

I asked my husband to report back after one of his morning runs past the building.

Him: It's not a misprint.
The kids: Why is Mom down on her knees praising the Lord*? It's embarrassing. Make her stop.
Him: I'm going to take a shower. You deal with her.

I was beyond their help. This was a job for the Foodie Girls.

Episode 8: The Hope of O'Groats

I was not alone in my ecstasy. Witness this incoming email from FG3:

"John O'Groats has just opened a new location in Encino and it's fabulous! (Sharon can walk here**.) Best breakfast in the valley! And they have a beautiful patio under old live oaks. It's awesome. I predict lines next weekend."

When my son and his friends started hyperventilating*** as we drove by on the way home from school, I knew it was time to bump this to the top of our list. On a breezy Monday afternoon, we met to put this shimmering fantasy to the Foodie Girls' test.

Outside on the patio, we ordered hot tea to combat the oddly cool weather and an assortment of breakfast and lunch dishes. Almost as soon as we had surrendered our menus, the biscuits arrived. A whole pile of them.

The best part of a meal at John O 'Groats. Although it looks like FG11 is grabbing for them, I believe she was just showing us how big the pancakes might be.

When topped with the delicious apricot preserves and berry jam that are on every table, these are 100% validation of the hype. Loved every last bite.****

Then the rest of our food arrived. It was interesting to see the slight deflation go around the group as the plates circulated. The salmon hash was light and tasty. The huevos o'groats were delicious, but awfully heavy after several bites. The bacon and cheddar waffle was fine, but nothing to write home about. A tostada was over run with spinach greens and so bone-dry that it was hard to finish. Sweet potato fries were soggy and unappetizing. Alone among our orders, the fish and chips was a standout. The batter was crispy, perfectly fried, and the fish was melt-in-your mouth fresh. The french fries were fabulous. Even the home made tartar sauce was yummy. If you aren't having breakfast, have the fish and chips!

Meanwhile, it was clear that the place had yet to fully hit its stride in terms of service*****. A side of bacon was forgotten. Drinks took time to be refilled. The staff is beyond friendly and is trying hard, but it's not quite there yet.

But I think it will be, and as long as they keep making biscuits, flipping pancakes, frying fish and turning out fresh, hearty home cooked meals under the oak trees, my prayers, at least, will have been answered.

FG final verdict? John O' Groats is ON the list, by unanimous consent!
Pricing information: Breakfast items, $7.95-$12.95; salads & sandwiches $8.95-$14.95; other entrees $9.95-$16.95.
FG Value Rating: Fair deal


* If you have lived in Encino for long and even thought going out to eat in the neighborhood, you, too, would have bowed down in thanks.
** I can, and I do.
*** Per my son, "The pancakes here are about FIVE TIMES better than anywhere else in the world." This comment was met with general agreement amongst the teenage boys in the car.
**** The plate was empty within minutes.
***** I have heard that service is much better inside the restaurant, but on this and all my other visits I've been unable to resist the patio. Especially because they allow dogs to join their owners out there. At night they have beautiful strings of twinkling blue and white lights in the trees.

Flat Out Daring

Begin odd, but by now at least familiar, intro: "The 2009 October Daring Bakers’ challenge was brought to us by Ami S. She chose macarons from Claudia Fleming’s The Last Course: The Desserts of Gramercy Tavern as the challenge recipe."

When I saw this month's Daring Bakers challenge about a month ago, I was excited. As you can see by the intro, above, it was cookies. Cookies? I'm all about cookies! Plus, these were cookies with frosting in the middle!!! The last two challenges were tough, but this one? In the bag. Oh yeah.

I then promptly forgot all about it until about 9 pm this evening. Yes, this evening, the 27th of October. Reveal night. 3 hours, 2 kids with homework that needed to be checked, and 1 suddenly intimidating recipe* stood between me and the holy land of the completed challenges forum. Sure, it looked hopeless. But I had to try.

Printout in hand, I scrambled to get my egg whites warmed up, my almonds ground, my mixer dry, and my kids to bed. Soft peaks? Check. Stiff peaks? Looks good to me. Definitely going chocolate here. Pull out cocoa powder. Hmm. Recipe has no salt in it. Not a good sign, but I'll go with it. Ovens set. Ziploc bag snipped**. Piping onto baking sheets.

Uh oh. In printout, piped dough looked like mini perky breasts. In kitchen, piped dough looked like mini mud puddles. It's 10:45. Mud puddles it is.

As cookies go from low oven to hot oven, I look for the magic "foot" referred to lovingly in challenge recipe. No dice. Mine are amputee macaroons. As a bonus, they proceed to deflate when cooled, returning to their original mud puddle state.

That's right. I had spent the better part of the night creating amputee mud puddle macaroons...

...with peanut butter buttercream middles. Oh yeah!***

It is 11:28 pm. I am on a major sugar high. Deflated, but not defeated****, I survive to Dare another day.

* Fine print: they were French cookies. Damn.
** Note to self: Get a pastry bag, for heaven's sake!
*** Skippy to the rescue! Appearances aside, the cookies had a lovely, chewy texture and dense rich chocolate flavor. However, without salt, they were entirely too sweet for my taste. The filling (from the Great Cookies cookbook by Carole Walter) was a good idea, but also needed a serious reduction in the sugar department. But there is real potential here, folks. I will keep working on this one, and post a recipe when I get it right
**** The cookies were de-feeted (ha ha!). I was not.

I do find I'm eating alone more with this schedule

My two favorite messages of the week from October so far:

1. "Smile at everybody."
It's either catching, or incredibly annoying*. Either way, you feel great.

2. "Get a bunch done by lunch, and you're a winner by dinner."
A fun way to remember that starting the day strong can make all the difference. Implementation of this one has been a little tricky for me. So far the only way I've been able to make it work is by having lunch around midnight.



* They were stressing the infectiousness of happiness. I added the alternative benefit of driving grumpy people crazy.

Cheesy Pennies, Where art thou?

I know the silence has been a bit deafening. That is not to say that there has not been much blog-worthy activity. Fear not, I shall return anon*.

* Later this evening maybe!

The kindness of strangers

I recently listened to a fantastic episode of This American Life. If you're familiar with the show, you know there's usually a prologue that sets up the theme, and this was a great one:

"Brett Leveridge was standing on the subway. A guy comes walking down the platform, stopping in front of each passenger and delivering a quiet verdict: "You're in. You're out. You, you can stay. You—gotta go." Most people ignored the guy. But Brett found himself, against his will, hoping the guy would give him the thumbs up, and when the guy does, it's thrilling in a very small way: a tiny kindness from a stranger."

I so get that. Being approved and embraced by people who don't even know you is a pretty nice feeling. "Thrill" is exactly the word.

I'm that kind of thrilled about the book clubs I joined this year. These were long-established groups of women who welcomed me so warmly that I felt as if I belonged from the beginning. Getting together and bonding over wine and novels we all found preachy and manipulative* or old favorites revisited** just plain makes me happy. Especially because almost before I knew it, the welcoming strangers had become familiar friends*** and meeting nights a much anticipated highlight of every month.

Familiar friends or not, I did experience a significant amount of performance anxiety when my role shifted from "attendee" to "host" this week****. First of all, I had to pick the book. Then, there was the matter of the snacks. I had been paying close attention at prior gatherings and it was clear I would need a savory appetizer, a cheese plate*****, fruit and a dessert at a minimum. Hmm.

For the book, I decided to go with City of Thieves, by David Benioff. I'd just finished it, and was still in the afterglow that comes from discovering a truly special book. It was unexpectedly funny and moving and wise, with characters and a story that were completely absorbing. If you haven't read it yet, you absolutely should. Don't be deterred by the basic plot outline:

"During the Nazis’ brutal siege of Leningrad, Lev Beniov is arrested for looting and thrown into the same cell as a handsome deserter named Kolya. Instead of being executed, Lev and Kolya are given a shot at saving their own lives by complying with an outrageous directive: secure a dozen eggs for a powerful Soviet colonel to use in his daughter’s wedding cake. In a city cut off from all supplies and suffering unbelievable deprivation, Lev and Kolya embark on a hunt through the dire lawlessness of Leningrad and behind enemy lines to find the impossible."

It might sound like yet another depressing WWII novel but it is thrilling and wonderful. One big reason? In the midst of a horrible war, two boys found, in each other, the kindness of strangers.

Book? Check. I was stuck on the snacks. Then inspiration hit. I needed to serve...


Deviled Eggs for Lev and Kolya
From a recipe on Chow

1 dozen eggs
1/2 c. mayonnaise
2 tsp. Dijon mustard
2 tsp. finely chopped capers
1 Tbs. minced fresh tarragon leaves
3 Tbs. minced fresh chives, divided.

Hard boil the eggs.****** When cool, peel and cut each egg in half with a sharp knife. Put the yolks into a medium bowl, and set the egg white halves aside on a serving tray. Add the mayo, mustard, capers, tarragon and 1 Tbs. of the chives to the egg yolks. Using a fork, mix gently until smooth and fluffy. Take a heaping teaspoon of the yolk mixture and carefully spoon it into each egg white half. Use the spoon to round the filling and make it look nice. You can stash these in the fridge at this point if not serving immediately. About 20 minutes before serving, remove the eggs from the fridge. Garnish with remaining minced chives.

* My Sister's Keeper
** The Wizard of Oz
*** Getting to know people (or at least their names) was really easy in one of the book groups: There were two Amy's, three Jody's and another Sharon already. In the other, there were bonus outings to have Chinese food.
**** It didn't help that the construction project we started this summer that was supposed to be completed by September was still in full swing. I had a dumpster in the driveway, no living room to speak of, and a permanent layer of dust and debris everywhere. Plus, on the night of the group meeting it was pouring rain. In Los Angeles. Naturally we had a leak.
***** This explains, in part, why I feel so comfortable with these women. I love cheese plates!
****** A tried-and-true way to do this is to put the eggs in a pan, cover with cool water, then turn on the heat to medium high. Put the pan on the stove and set the timer for 20 minutes. When time's up, put eggs into ice water to stop the cooking, then remove and cool completely. They come out perfectly (none of that gray stuff on the yolk) every single time.