Tuesday, June 5, 2012

That's not the Titanic

Four memorable quotes from my Memorial Day weekend.

Quote #1:

A mom to her daughter, in the buffet line in front of me:

"No, honey. That's not the Titanic.  It's the Queen Mary."


Quote #2:

My son, standing in front of the open refrigerator door, to everyone in the house:

"Something is seriously wrong here.  We are completely out of water, but we have two cartons of milk in the fridge....and they are both GOOD."



Quote #3:

My husband, upon seeing what I was cooking.

"If I ever saw kale in the wild, I would mow it."



Quote #4:

My niece, after my sister had described this incredible "Junior Dolphin Trainer" adventure that she would be doing this summer in Florida, where you swim with dolphins and learn all about them and go behind the scenes and feed them and pet them and basically live every eight year old girl's fantasy for a day, with free snacks and all the soda you can drink.   I said, "Wow. That sounds like the best vacation ever!"

"No, Auntie Shar.  Coming to California is the best vacation ever.  Then dolphins."



* The mom followed up with: "Don't you remember the end of the movie?"

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Like Wallace, our vehicle also had a weight problem


There was a bit of a clearance issue getting our tour bus out of the parking lot, but that did stop this dedicated group from pursuing an afternoon of cheese on wheels. I'd done The Doughnut Tour . And The Taco Tour*.  How could I pass up The Cheese Tour**?



As the bus scraped its way onto the freeway, our hostess, Laura, began by passing out hot garlic cheese bread from The Smokehouse Restaurant in Burbank***.   She then poured glasses of Pinot Noir from the San Antonio Winery, the only continuously operating winery in Los Angeles.  The winery stayed open through prohibition by servicing the Catholic churches in the area.  Sonoma may not have much to worry about, but when paired with that crusty, salty bread, the wine seemed mighty fine to me.


Unsure of what exactly would be included in a Cheese Tour, we began to get the idea when the bus dropped us off at Marcona, a relatively new sandwich shop on Melrose.  Collier, the owner, was waiting with platters of custom-made grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches on rustic bread, with a date-Dijon mustard dipping sauce. The sandwich was good, the sauce was inspired, and the ice cold hibiscus-mint-tea-lemonade was outstanding!


The theme of the tour was now becoming clear:

What can you make with cheese?

Answer #2:  Nachos.


 
 

We arrived at El Cholo, where in 1959, a waitress named Carmen first began serving her tables a hometown specialty of chips with melted cheese as a treat while they waited for their food.  The rest, as they say, was history.  I can tell you that 53 years later, we owe Carmen a huge thank you.  Plates of the crisp, thick chips, covered in sharp melted cheddar and sliced jalapeno peppers were inhaled by the group.   So simple, and so perfect.  I also have to give big points to my fellow cheese tourists who managed to toss back a lot of margaritas in our very short allotted visit time. These people are pros.

It turns out, you can also make quesadillas out of cheese.

Or gringadillas, as Dora, from Yuca's in Hollywood, created for us out of creamy brie cheese with mango salsa.  We love Dora.


If you are my hero, you can make crunchy fried mac and cheese balls full of gooey, melty cheese out of cheese. That's what they do at Fred 62 in Los Feliz, where, according to Eric, the restaurant manager, these little nuggets of joy are outsold only by their burger.


Just as we were licking our fingers, a gentleman from Palermo Pizza came on board with piping hot boxes of their specialty, the Pizza Rosa.  Oh. My. God.  You can make this out of cheese, too!


Thick, tender, chewy sourdough crust, mozzarella, feta, Parmesan and tomatoes. That's it. I almost cried, it was so good.  Or it might have been an early warning sign of a cheese overdose.  If it was, I ignored it.

Because we were about to cap off the tour with a visit to an actual cheese shop. Where nothing is made out of cheese, because it's all about the cheese itself.

Our entire group squeezed into Say Cheese, in Silverlake, for a crash course in artisan cheese from Glenn and Jason. We were a wee bit distracted by all the gorgeous olives and wine and caramels and crackers and sausages they had, but when they passed out sampler plates with Humboldt Fog blue, raw cave-aged Gruyére, Artequeso manchego, and a Wisconsin semi-soft cheese called Les Fréres, they had our full attention.  I thought each was my favorite until I moved on to the next. Yum!  


We left with goodie bags and a slice of Gruyére to take home.  Cheese people are super classy, I tell you.  What a way to end the day.

BONUS!  Really want to feel like part of the tour? Take the simple "Eat your way through LA" Cheese Quiz.  There will be a prize at the end.  Ready?

List the country of origin for the following cheeses:

1. Parmigiano Reggiano
2. Gouda
3. Gruyére
4. Manchego
5. Stilton
6. Roquefort
7. Havarti
8. Jarlsberg
9. Cotija
10. Paneer.

If you got them all right, you, too, could win a box of Velveeta cheese and shells.  But you'd miss out on the fun of having them hand delivered by John B., the foodie tourist's best friend.


Don't miss out. To get on the list for upcoming "Eat Your Way Through LA Tours", like them on Facebook.

* The Taco Tour, in photos:


** I didn't have my normal camera with me, so the photos are not quite as comprehensive as usual.  Hopefully, you still got a sense of the cheesy goodness of that wonderful afternoon. 
*** My favorite Smokehouse story, told to us by a waitress when my husband and I went there years ago:  A patron becomes ill while dining at the restaurant during a busy lunch hour.  His companion rushes to his side, turns around and calls, "Is there a doctor in the house?"  The entire cast of "E.R" is at the next table, totally useless.  
**** Answers:  Italy, Holland, Switzerland, Spain, England, France, Denmark, Norway, Mexico, India.

Friday, May 18, 2012

It just doesn't add up

A pseudo rebus problem.

Q.  How does











A. It's not possible.  I'm not ready!

* I wish I could ask:


Even if she didn't have a good answer, she'd know how to celebrate this birthday.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

This little piggie went really well with mashed potatoes

This little piggie went to market.
The other little piggies stayed home and watched SportsCenter.
This little piggie had pork chops.
The other little piggies had some, too, because I am a nice person and couldn't eat an entire platter of meat and potatoes by myself. 
But then I made them watch Chopped instead.

The End.



Sunday, May 13, 2012

I did it for the books

It was late at night as we left the outskirts of LA, heading back up to school after a road trip.  The long length of Highway 5 stretched before us, and the headlights of a line of massive trucks loomed in our rear view mirror.   In the way of close college girlfriends, we were drinking Big Gulps and talking about everything and nothing at once.  The two of us in the front seat were keeping each other awake, and we thought the rest of the crew was asleep in the back.  Suddenly, we hear a voice from the dark.

"I can't wait to have kids, so we can play games and I can beat them."

After turning around and staring at our friend for a minute, we drove on*.

Needless to say, this is not why I wanted to have kids**.
I did it for the books.

For Winnie the Pooh.
For Goodnight Moon.
For The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
For Curious George.
For The Snowy Day.
For Green Eggs and Ham.
For the Little Mouse and the Red, Ripe Strawberry.
For Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
For The Phantom Tollbooth.
For Narnia.
For the Wild Things.

Night after night, as I sat on the floor, turning pages and making growling noises and jumping the monsters up and down, pretending to be terrified of the ghoul in the dark dark room, doing silly voices, hearing my son yell "QUIET DOWN THERE!" with all his might, or my daughter whisper, "Happy once, happy twice, happy chicken soup with rice" in my ear, these already beloved books became so much more than words and pictures.  They created magic between me and my children, and some of the best moments I've ever had being their mom.

And so, on this Mother's Day, I say thank you, Maurice Sendak.  And all the other magicians out there.
My Wild Thing, on her first Halloween
* She has a couple of toddlers now, so she's probably kicking their asses at Candyland.
** It's just a side benefit.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Cook My Mailbox Weekend II

You may think that all of my hard work on that juice cleanse has gone to waste.   That I have clearly relapsed into my old habits of putting cheese on everything and breaking out the butter at a moment's notice.

But you would be wrong.

I eat fresh fruit or oatmeal for breakfast every day.
I still haven't had a Diet Coke.
And when I went through this month's Bon Appétit magazine, I was immediately drawn to a vegetarian recipe made with yogurt.



So what if it was cake? I still think I should get partial credit*.

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