WE INTERRUPT OUR NORMALLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT.
Anchor: There has been a startling development in the long-running South of the Boulevard
Carpool War hostilities. For more details, we go live to our reporter on the ground. Are you there?
Field Reporter: Indeed, I'm here in Encino, where we have learned that a cease fire has been declared by the warring
Carpool Moms. The impetus for this radical shift in the tenor of the dispute was, I am told by my sources, bacon.
Anchor: Would that be Kevin Bacon? I had heard that both John Kerry and Hillary Clinton have
Bacon Numbers of 2 . Given his relatively close connection to those diplomats, is it possible he was involved?
Reporter: They are not ruling that out, but for the moment, it appears that regular, smoked bacon is responsible.
Anchor: Can you give us some background here? How did things reach this critical juncture?
Reporter: If you will recall, during the most recent
skirmish over the braising title, the combatants vowed to take up their oven mitts again, waistlines and livers be damned. Ensnared by the spatula-wielding women and the promise of yet another outstanding meal, innocent children and husbands chose to remain in the thick of the conflict as well. It certainly seemed that there was no end in sight to this dire situation. In fact, the stakes were raised even higher when it was suggested by a bystander that the next confrontation be focused, not on a particular dish, like
bolognese,
steak, or
tacos, the
type of meal, or even
a proscribed preparation method, but on just one, single ingredient. That ingredient? Bacon.
Anchor: There is
precedent for this on the Food Network, I believe, but that battle is massively edited for television, and they have trained staff with them in the arena. These brave women probably had no idea of the danger they were setting themselves up for.
Reporter: That's exactly right. The whole plan was fraught with peril. But, as we know, bacon does exert an uncanny power over the human brain. Experts now believe that just the
idea of a bacon-based meal somehow created a unity of purpose in the minds of these former enemies. Instead of pitting their bacon creations against each other, in an unprecedented step, they agreed to collaborate on the dinner.
Anchor: What about the coveted "taste" prize? This is one of the most divisive issues of the whole campaign, is it not?
Reporter: Stunningly, that was thrown out completely. There was no vote. I repeat,
there was no vote,
rigged or otherwise. They just happily stuffed themselves and went home. I spoke with one of the diners on condition of anonymity, and she said it was a tremendous relief not to feel disloyal for voting against her mother, and also that the bacon potato things were really good. Apparently, the new mantra here at Carpool headquarters is, "Everybody wins when dinner is full of bacon."
Anchor: Incredible. How long can this cease fire possibly hold?
Reporter: I have it on good authority that Carpool Wars, as we know it, is no more, but that we can expect many more Carpool Truce dinners in the months and years to come.
Anchor: I think I speak for all of us when I say, "Phew." Thank you. We'll be following this story closely, very closely, in case they have leftovers, and will bring you updates as we have them.
THIS HAS BEEN A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT.
Carpool Wars: The Bacon Accords
We did, indeed, come together and lay our Le Crueset cookware down for greater glory of an entire meal honoring bacon. It was a moment for the ages.
Christy F.'s tender, smoky bacon-braised chicken dish. Find the recipe from Fine Cooking
here.
Christy D's spectacular BLT salad with Feta, Candied Bacon and Cherry Tomatoes.
And yes, there was bacon dessert.
Maple Bacon Sugar Cookies
And the over-the-top Vanilla Ice Cream Sundaes with Pecan Bacon Crunch* and Fleur de Sel Caramel Sauce.
Peace out.